What Was + What May Be: A Journey of Love and Healing
Alyxandra Ciale Charfauros and Michael Yuchen Tong of We the PROUD Polycultural Productions, photographed by Katherine Yang
It was an abnormally warm day in February when Ciale invited us to her apartment. In a word: cozy. The walls were covered in art, posters, and handwritten letters from various friends. Immediately, she went into a self-proclaimed “host mode,” offering us water and snacks as we walked in the door. Michael joined us shortly after, and we settled into Ciale’s room.
Ciale (she/her/hers) is a 3rd year acting undergrad and her partner Michael (he/him/his) is a 1st year Ph.D. student in engineering. They have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years since attending high school in California. Together at Michigan, the pair are planning on performing a joint show through a collaboration with We the PROUD and optiMize that visually details the span of their relationship.
Ciale admits that it was first conceived as a one-woman show about her experiences with long distance. The show was a long work in progress until Michael started his Ph.D. program and the two found themselves thrust into an in-distance relationship. “We had mixed feelings about being back but we wanted to celebrate our space together.” That spiritual experience of finally finding each other in the same space for extended periods of time is what led to the conception of a joint show.
“Sharing space together was a celebratory, healing process,” Michael adds with a smile. He mentions that he solo backpacked through Israel, Nepal, Japan, and Taiwan before returning to academia. “It was very difficult … I found myself confronting death … the way masculine and feminine energies play into gender expression.” His experiences, as well as an innate desire to describe the scientific and cosmic connections we all have with each other, translated into elements of the show.
The pair explained that much of the show is influenced by their lived experiences, both shared and apart, very much a “grab bag of things that interested us.” Being in a committed long-distance relationship resulted in a technological archive of their relationship: blog posts, love letters, photos, and more. Ciale says she always had a feeling that they were “subconsciously preparing for a presentation of our love” before it turned into a fully fleshed out show.
Speaking on the difficulty of producing a show as intimate as this, Ciale agrees that talking about mental health is difficult and often stigmatized. “I wanted to make sure I wasn’t commodifying my pain and my experiences with Michael … I didn’t want to just make a consumable thing that other people were watching.” She instead began to think about the show as starting the process of trusting herself and her emotions in order to create a genuine piece of art that other people could experience and enjoy as well.
In technical aspects, the show is very much an amalgamation of a small and dedicated crew wearing different hats (as in the nature of devised work). Michael sounds relieved when he tells us, “I didn’t feel like I had to compete … we both had things to bring to the table.” They both affirm, “love is the most supreme artistic expression,” and hope to express a type of love not usually in the forefront through the show.
In terms of inspiration, Ciale details how her room was the birthplace of the play and tells us how glad she is that we chose to meet there, where she felt most at home. Michael rattles off a list of films that inspired him including Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Arrival, Maniac, and The Matrix. They talk about philosophers, creation myths, travel, the concept of movement and flow, the creative box that university tends to stifle us all into. Michael gestures to us, “I mean think about the probability of the four of us being here on this earth at the same time as each other … it’s amazing.” It’s a sweet and profound sentiment that felt extremely touching to hear from these incredible artists.
“We were really struggling trying to figure out if the show is Asian-American theater or not … it’s such a confined space and theater should be about openness and creation,” Ciale confesses. It’s understandable not to want to label their show this way; after all, it is inherently about breaking free of the barriers of feeling forced to label their relationship and their love. Ciale mentions that she sees herself and Michael as themselves and not their identities, although they both recognize that these are important components of who they are. We ended our conversation with Ciale saying, “I am these identities and more.” We couldn’t agree more.
Edit: On Valentine’s Day, Ciale and Michael performed their show to a crowd of around 70 people. Accompanied by stellar music and sound, an impressive display of technology and mixed media, and well-timed jokes interspersed with more serious dialogue about long-distance relationships, love, and the cosmic powers that be, they were, in short, amazing. Their story, while incredibly personal, affected everyone in the room. In the end, we are all just trying to find love, wherever it may be.
