Thoughts on Quarantine

A ceiling is my new sky.

The life of a college student can be described as always being on. From class, student orgs, research and part time jobs on the weekdays to some decidedly more unholy activities on the weekends- time spent on campus is nothing short of perpetual motion, a whirlwind of doing. 

This lifestyle can breed the perception that productivity is simply the equivalent of time spent doing things. Of course, the converse of this is that not doing anything is being unproductive. In the eyes of a college student who is not only resolutely accustomed to a schedule packed full of things to do and places to be, but is also living in a crazy high-pressure environment, unproductivity can seem like the worst feeling in the world. This leads to activities such as catching up on a good TV show, doodling just for fun, or getting that unheard-of 9 hours of sleep being pushed aside and becoming generally regarded as guilty indulgences or completely off-limits.

I have been in quarantine for going on two months now. At the very beginning, having everything I was used to and everything I was looking forward to unexpectedly ripped away was crippling. I fell into a period of complete apathy- sleeping for more than 18 hours a day, eating with reckless abandon, and spending the rest of my time listlessly scrolling through Instagram. In other words, pretty much doing absolutely nothing- the epitome of unproductivity. Even then, I still consider myself so incredibly lucky and privileged to only have had the latter months of my sophomore year cut short. So many others were deprived of their graduations and chances to be celebrated and recognized for all of their hard work. Many more have had it even worse, suddenly needing to bear the weight of the world whether it be due to the disruptions to countless jobs caused by the pandemic, being on the front lines of the resistance effort, or losing loved ones.

It’s hard to see the silver lining in the situation that we are in right now. It’s even harder to feel motivated and muster up the energy to get up and be a doer like so many of us are used to when the options for things we can do are so limited, and when it feels like our lives are at a standstill. But I implore you to try to see this time from a different angle. When my life was filled to the brim with people to see, errands to run, activities to attend from when I opened my eyes in the morning to when my head hit the pillow at night, I can’t deny the fact I was happy. I’m sure many of you will agree that there is just something about feeling productive and always having something to do that makes you feel like your life is chugging forward as it should be. But now I’ll admit that this state of “unproductivity” that quarantine has practically forced me into was more welcome than I thought. A small part of me knows that being given the opportunity to slow down and smell the flowers (so to speak) is akin to the world telling me to take a well-deserved break. To me, there is no better time than now to be enjoying the simple things in life- whether it be unapologetically indulging in binging Netflix all day, watching funny TikToks, or going on a nice evening walk. Things that usually, I would brush off as stuff that I don’t have time for. Sleeping in, spending 1.5 hours making and eating a meal, and delighting in quality time with my family have become my new reality. Sure, it certainly doesn’t fit the definition of productivity that I’m familiar with- but now is a perfect time to redefine what it means to be productive and move forward in life. 

So I use this time as wisely as I can. Setting aside a window of time out of each day to reach out to my friends, telling the people who matter to me that I love them. Struggling through a Chloe Ting challenge, crying over a good book, or discovering a new hobby. Doing things that customarily would be relegated to the sides of my life, left unexplored and unappreciated in favor of activities that more closely fit the narrow paradigm of what I considered “productive”. And let me tell you, there is nothing more liberating or healing than spending time doing anything and nothing at the same time. Even the idea of using this time to “improve yourself” isn’t completely accurate to me, because what we have been hardwired to associate with self-improvement doesn’t always align with the most basic notion of putting yourself first. And if putting yourself first means unwinding in a nice bath for 3 hours, treating yourself to some cake, or taking some time off from being sociable, so be it.

So I ask you: What is important to you? Which things do you love doing? What brings you joy? Use some of this time we’ve all been given to take a step back to assess and reevaluate. Maybe you’ve been forging ahead each day with no clear destination- now’s the time to reset and reorientate yourself with your goals and what you really want out of life. 

Lastly, try to remember that there’s no need to compare your version of productivity with anybody else’s. If you spent the whole day watching funny YouTube videos and lounging around in your pajamas- own it, and be content with the fact that doing this made you laugh and feel good. Productivity should never have a solid definition- let’s all return to a mindset where we can all be productive in our own ways and feel proud of ourselves for getting closer to our own goals day by day while cheering on others for doing what they deem to be productive at the same time. That way, hopefully we can all step out of quarantine and reunite as better versions of ourselves, better peers to each other, with clearer heads and a sharper eye on a brighter future.

I’ll see you all soon.