It’s 2 am and I’m staring out the window

I lost a friend

I lost a friend,

She was me,  

All of my past insecurities.  

The part of me I never wish to see.  

The shadow lurking around,  

Why can’t you just let me be?

This friend of mine was an anchor,

Weighed me down with her constant chatter.

Chaos ensued and my thoughts got jumbled,

 But now it’s clear: I was trapped and mangled.  

I don’t want to fight you society,  

I don’t want to fight that part of me.  

Some bridges are best burned,  

So cutting her off was the key.

I accept this fee but I disagree

With how you shaped this world you oversee.

I found my peace with my identity,

I no longer have that anxiety,

I’m no longer clay that you can mindfully mold,

I’ve broken free from your shackles and your hold.  

Why are you doing this society?  

Why are you making ‘me’ like carbon copies?

Your peering eyes,  

Your fixed standards,

Why are you so against variety?  

A faceless crowd is what you wish to create,

I’m here to say, I won’t succumb to that fate.

I ask again dear society,  

What is it that you want from me?

What have you done to everyone?  

What is this need and urge you have to control every goddamn thing under the sun?

You started a war in my head.  

The kind that won’t let me go to bed.  

And so I shipped off my beloved friend.  

The friend you created so I would blend.

I hope she is lost at sea,  

The wind of my mind blew her ship heavily.  

I hope to never find that debris,  

All the things that you once forced me to be.

But I lost a friend, that part of me.  

Losing her was no cup of tea.  

The part you trapped so easily,  

The part that provided comfort with all certainty.

And I’m not sending a search party for her you see,

This person I am is how I’m going to be.

I’ve finally been set free...