A Reality from Dreams
“Chase your dreams.”
It's a common saying that everyone is undoubtedly familiar with. Some might even argue that this saying is the purpose of life and that working towards your dreams will bring you happiness. Yet the darker, more destructive side of this pursuit is rarely discussed.
As a child, I had a simple dream, a dream so absurdly common that most people know at least two other people with the same goal: to become a doctor.
It is no surprise that the road to a medical degree is an arduous one; it demands incredibly rigorous academic work along with several extracurricular activities. I was fully aware of these expectations and sought to do my best to meet them from a young age.
However, years of harboring these expectations developed a fear of not fulfilling my ambitions, and a question repeatedly ran through my mind: What if I fail? This fear drove me to set new standards and to constantly push myself to pursue perfection in a futile attempt to prevent failure. In my impossible endeavor to reach perfection, I ignored the mounting pressure that was slowly accumulating.
At the peak of my stress, I spent half a day attending classes and the other half hunched over a desk, scrambling to meet the next deadline, only to see another one appear as soon as I completed the previous task. This tireless cycle ensnared me for months until I felt like nothing more than a rusting machination, barely living to only work for a seemingly impossible goal.
It was a cool spring night when the thought suddenly hit me: What am I doing?
Months of endless work put me into a numb trance. I saw my academic achievements as nothing more than mere stepping stones to a grander pursuit and felt no satisfaction in my accomplishments, looking only towards the next achievement I had to reach. My sleep and health were sacrificed because I viewed them as removable obstacles to my goals. While I still wanted to go into healthcare, the raging passion that I once had for my dreams had long since burned out, leaving nothing more than the ashes of my childhood ambitions. I was alive, but I wasn’t living. And a more horrifying realization, I wasn’t happy.
That night, I decided to abandon everything. My remaining homework, my responsibilities, all the stress and pressure, the need to solely pursue my dreams, all exchanged for a few short hours of freedom as I opened the door and took a walk for the first time in years.
I found myself at the entrance of an empty local park, its quiet solitude beckoning me in. Street lamps bathed the concrete pathway in a soft yellow glow as the breeze gently whistled by. Were the flowers lining the walkway always these shades of vibrant lavender and magentas? Since when was the night sky painted with such breathtaking swirls of blue and indigo? Did fireflies always come out around this time? This was a place that I passed by every day, but walking through it, something about the park seemed strangely ethereal and unfamiliar.
In reality, these sights weren’t new. They were always there. Yet in my constant rush to always get to and from class, I had forgotten how beautiful the scenery truly was.
As the quiet serenity of my surroundings enveloped me, I began to contemplate the other things I had forgotten. When was the last time I had a proper conversation with my mother that wasn’t school-related? When was the last time I spent time with friends outside of school and not stressing over an exam?
In the past, I knew people shouldn’t solely focus on one thing for the entirety of their lives. But wandering in that park, temporarily freed from the shackles of my dreams, I finally understood what it meant; in my feverish, one-track-minded pursuit of wanting to become a doctor, I forgot how beautiful and bright my world could be.
In a society where we’re pushed to chase our dreams and strive for more, we rarely slow down to appreciate the things and people we have. We try to run an impossible race against time to achieve as much as possible, yet in doing so, we miss the timeless beauty that surrounds us. When we constantly reach for the stars, we forget how wonderful life can be on earth.
Every day we do this dance, waltzing through tribulations and working to satiate our never-ending ambitions. But can we really say that we’re living if we never stop to appreciate life itself?
We live in an era where speed and efficiency are praised, which creates the ever-pressing need for people to slow down and acknowledge the world’s wonders. While it’s important to have and pursue dreams, we don’t need to live life solely working towards these goals. Pushing myself to the brink of burnout only served to make me lose my passions. Whether it’s the cherished relationships we have with others, looking back at what we’ve achieved, or simply the beauty of nature, there is a joy to be found in every corner of our lives when we take the time to notice and value it. After all, what is life if you can’t find happiness in it?
At this point in my life, my dream of becoming a doctor has been revitalized, and I have also made more effort to bring happiness into my life. I have found pride in my accomplishments and discovered pleasure in the time I take to connect with my environment. While I cannot change how I previously worked and felt, I can take strides to improve my life for the better. Human life is too short not to cherish the small joys we experience, and it is this same happiness that makes our lives worth living.
